Is there a difference in lifestyle?
Change of job, marriage, childbirth.
Since the late 1920s, women's lives have changed in many ways. As a result, even if you want to spend time with close friends like she did when she was a student, the schedule will not match and the topic will change. It can't be helped, but it often makes you feel lazy ...
When you feel this way, others may feel the same way. Why don't you make as many friends as you can now that you're an adult, even if you don't get together as often as you did when you were a student?
What do you think of your recent friendships?
◇ Somehow the conversation didn't fit
As you grow older, whether you are married, giving birth, or working hard, your lifestyle will change in many ways, unlike when you were a student. What you want to talk about will naturally be different. Topics that were previously active together may seem like they don't fit ...
◇ Only talk about the past
Due to differences in lifestyle, common themes are decreasing. Did you naturally avoid recent stories? Just talking about the old days made being with me boring.
◇ Only interact with SNS Recently, most of the people use SNS.
You can get a rough idea of what you are doing and what you are doing without meeting your friends. Have you seen yourself less often before you know it?
The lifestyle changes a lot depending on the person.
◇ Friends who live alone
A friend who lives alone and has relatively free time and money. Starting in my twenties, I often get great jobs and responsible jobs, which is why I talk a lot about my job. You can also make time for hobbies like lessons.
◇ A friend who has a boyfriend
It's no wonder friends with boyfriends spend more time with him on vacation. Today's friendship is a bit sloppy, as many looks to the future.
◇ Married friends
Married friends don't go out into the nightlife as often as they did when they were students. In terms of money, people tend to spend less money on themselves, such as mortgages and living expenses, so it seems like the flashy game often naturally slows down.
◇ Children and friends
When a child is born, a life that puts the child first is inevitable. It is difficult to take time to play and the frequency of contact is reduced. Conversations tend to be different from those without children, as the content of the conversation is primarily about children.
In other words, "value differences" are the cause of the gap.
What women want from their friends is "empathy." As your lifestyle and values change, it becomes more difficult to sympathize with each other and you begin to feel a rift with your friends since you were a student.
So how do you solve it?
How to build a non-overwhelming friendship?
① Don't be overly sensitive to the differences of others
If you only care about the difference with your friends, the distance will increase. By acknowledging and respecting the differences of others, we can build deeper friendships and closer relationships than ever before.
② Get along with a sense of distance
Even after becoming an adult, if you are dating a friend who has a sense of distance like when you were a student, you may not be satisfied with the schedule and opinions just because you expect that person. It is important to step back and get along with others with an appropriate sense of distance.
③ Appreciate the "depth" of friendship
If you have a different lifestyle, your schedule will not adjust and you will not be able to meet often. By looking at the "depth" of the connection when they meet, not the number of times, the haze from your heart should disappear.
④ Positively give up on the other person
It used to be a lot of fun being together, but looking back at the past and sadness doesn't change the other person. In such cases, give up in a positive sense. By giving up, you can naturally see the goodness of the other person with peace of mind.
Let's foster a reasonable friendship because we are adults
Differences in friendship that can be felt due to lifestyle changes, such as marriage and job changes. You can get rid of the haze in your mind simply by paying attention to a few points. Now that I am an adult, I would like to foster a wonderful friendship that is not far-fetched.