Colton Underwood is ready to live his truth.
the previous "Bachelor" megastar came out as homosexual in an specific interview with Robin Roberts on "proper Morning the us" on Wednesday.
"i have ran from myself for a long term. i have hated myself for a long time," Underwood told Roberts in a pre-taped chat. "And i'm homosexual. and that i came to terms with that in advance this year and had been processing it. And the subsequent step in all of this was sort of letting people recognize."
Underwood stated he subsequently got to a place in which he could be sincere with himself after 2020, the yr that turned all of us's lives the wrong way up, and made humans "examine themselves in the reflect and determine out who they're and what they have got been strolling from or what they have been getting rid of of their lives."
when Roberts, who is additionally brazenly gay, stated she ought to "see the joy" and "see the comfort" in Underwood, he said he turned into "emotional in, like such a proper, glad, fine manner," and is "the happiest and healthiest" he's ever been.
Underwood said he went through a "dark and bad" time before feeling like he may want to display this about himself and his "awaken name" become feeling like he "could've instead died" than say he is gay.
"there has been a moment in L.A. that I wakened and i didn't think i was gonna awaken. I did not have the intentions of waking up. and i did," he recalled, noting this second -- and different "suicidal mind" -- led him to "take back manipulate" of his lifestyles.
whilst Roberts asked about the girls from his "Bachelor" season and the way they -- among others -- may experience misled, Underwood stated he "would apprehend why they think that manner."
"i have concept plenty about this too, of, 'Do I remorse being the Bachelor and do I remorse managing it the way that I did?' I do," he said. "I do assume I ought to've treated it higher, i'll say that."
Underwood said he "actually" wishes he hadn't dragged human beings into "my personal mess of figuring out who i was." similarly to announcing sorry to the ones girls, he would stated thanks because, in the long run, they and the franchise helped him get to this location.
while he turned into named the Bachelor, Underwood stated he remembered "praying to God" the morning he located out and "thanking him for making me instantly,' wondering this would cause him sooner or later getting the spouse and them having youngsters.
however Underwood stated he had acknowledged the truth of his sexuality seeing that a young age, knowing he "just felt special" from the age of 6, whilst he could not method it. He knew he became "extra emotional" than the alternative boys in his elegance. It took till excessive school for him to recognise he "changed into extra interested in the men and the guys" than he turned into the other sex.
Having grown up inside the Catholic church, he remembered he "learned within the Bible that homosexual is a sin" in Catholic grade college. And at some stage in his time in sports, he remembered humans the use of the phrase "gay" as a time period that held "a connotation of negativity."
"I think there is plenty of factors, when I look returned, i am like, 'No surprise I held it in,'" he said.
Underwood stated he has grown "towards God" on this revelation and said he is aware of a few humans will question how that's even viable for a homosexual guy to say.
"I used to wake up inside the morning and pray for him to take the homosexual away. I used to hope for him to alternate me," he stated, adding that his relationship with God now is not "conditional."
Underwood said he's had "various responses" to his coming out and the "underlying, most common one" has been they want he'd informed them sooner, which includes his dad.
"And once I hear that, I want i might have had religion in my pals and my circle of relatives a bit bit greater," he said. "The best cause i'm sitting down with you nowadays is due to the fact i've the love and the assist of my buddies and my family."
"i've in no way allowed myself to," he continued. "And it is in no way been form of in my playing cards to permit myself get there, and i want to extra than something. i'm seeking out someone who can push me and project me in all the wonderful approaches."
while Roberts asked if he had any recommendation for a person suffering to pop out, Underwood stated he still has an extended way to head and continues to be mastering.
"however if I had to go again and provide each person advice, I mean, you're gonna get via it is what i'd tell myself. maintain preventing for you. hold choosing you every morning. And whilst the time's ready or while the time's right and you are ready, do it on your very own time."
Bachelor nation changed into first introduced to Underwood while he changed into a contestant on Becca Kufrin's season of "The Bachelorette," the 14th season, in 2018. He made it to Kufrin's very last four.
the former soccer big name followed this up with a short stint on season 4 of "Bachelor in Paradise," on which he had a fling with Tia booth.
Underwood turned into then the lead of season 23 of "The Bachelor" in 2019, with his virginity being a common subject matter of communication and his famous fence-jumping second being one of the franchise's maximum dramatic moments. He gave his final rose to contestant Cassie Randolph however ultimately selected to not advise to her, even though they later instructed "GMA" they had discussed an engagement.
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the 2 dated after the show wrapped till saying their breakup in early 2020. They later made headlines when Randolph was granted a restraining order towards Underwood, accusing him of stalking and harassing her. In a police record, she accused him of putting a tracking tool on her car. Underwood later released a statement explaining that he and Randolph had resolved their issues in private. She later dismissed the restraining order and asked the police research be dropped.
In his interview with Roberts, Underwood apologized mainly to Randolph for "any ache and emotional pressure" he precipitated her and stated he needs it hadn't occurred the manner it did.
"I wish that i would've been brave enough to restore myself before I broke all and sundry else," he said.
He stated he "loved the whole lot" about Randolph, which "simplest made it harder and extra puzzling" for him as he was experiencing his very own "inner fight."
prior to his time on fact tv, Underwood famously dated Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman. He wrote about their relationship -- and plenty more -- in his 2020 e-book, "the first Time: finding Myself and looking for Love on fact television."
these days, Underwood is just "proud" of the way a long way he has come.
"i am nevertheless the equal Colton everybody met on tv. i'm nevertheless the identical Colton to my pals and my own family, I just take place in an effort to percentage with people now all of me," he stated. "And i am pleased with that, you realize? i'm proud to be homosexual."